I posted a photo on social media about being in hell and feel the need to explain it.  On Wednesday, I got a TEXT from the birth mom stating she was "going in a different direction" and placing her baby with a local couple.  I'd post a photo of the exchange but I need to respect her privacy.  But it's the most ridiculous and cold text I've ever seen.  Then, to rub salt in my wounds, I get a letter from her lawyers "terminating" all communication. It was heartless, impersonal and a punch to the gut.  I can do nothing about it.  Throughout this journey, we've experienced so much heartache that there's an invisible wall around us.  So Dan and I decided we'd grieve for one day and move on.  We cried, we cursed and we felt sorry for ourselves.  And now we are moving on.  I am scheduled for my embryo transfer on September 20.  The meds I'm taking are making me more miserable than they ever have.  All day nausea, headaches and dizziness. In the meantime, keep us in your thoughts and continue the good vibes.

I also want to send my sincerest gratitude to all those that reached out with adoption information as well as putting me in touch with your friends.  Although it didn't work out, it comforts me to know that we know such loving and caring people like you and no matter how sad we get, we know how lucky we are to have the kind of friends that go out of their way like that.  Bless you all.....all our love to you!

Birth mom changed her mind again.  The adoption is off.  Not much to say at this point but as always, we will get through this. Pray for us.