Thanks to all that have checked in on us to offer love and support.  It means so much. If I don't respond, it's not because I don't love you back- it's just hard to talk without getting too upset.  So in the meantime, just know we are going to be ok and I have my precious pets taking care of me with lots of good snuggling.

Totally heartbroken again.  I can't begin to understand why we just can't get a miracle.  We have love and support and therefore we will survive this.  Not much else to say right now. Xoxo

Transfer day!  Everything went well.  We transferred three embryos today and now we wait two weeks for our beta.  Two of the embryos looked very good to the doctor and one was just "so-so".  The staff at the NEDC were wonderful and personable and took good care of me.  This whole process is so humbling and you feel so so many emotions at once.  So now I'm just napping- or trying to while Dan lays next to me snoring his head off.  Like he's done any work today?!  Haha.  Thank you all so much for the amazing confidence and love you give us.  I'll write more when I'm a little less out of it.  Xoxo

We are set to go with our protocol! It involves a lot of shots, pill popping and eating healthy and staying zen. I never question putting myself through this craziness....it's a part of the process now and I'm used to it. The embryo transfer date is MARCH 24. I will need lots of prayers, incantations, whatever you can do! Dan and my anniversary is March 28 so I somehow this the timing is poetic. It will be our 7th year of marriage and I can't help reflect on the people we were back then. We had no clue what we were doing and had no one to help us decide what to do. I swear, I should open a concierge service for couples starting out in this journey. There's so much to know and so many directions to go. We thought we were doing what was best for us at the time, but I now realize that creating relationships with doctors that truly care for you is so important. You get so much advice and opinions from everywhere and it can leave you so confused and all the while, you are digging a deeper pile of debt for yourself. It's worthless to look back and have regrets. I've resolved myself to being philosophical about it all....we are doing what we should be doing and we will have the child we are meant for. Pray that everything goes the way it should and that my body cooperates. And most of all, pray I don't run Dan out of the country with my mood swings!! xoxo

Embryos Chosen!

After a month of sifting through over 200 profiles, we finally chose 3 families, each with 2 embryos to adopt. The doctor wants us to have 6 total. There's a lot that factors in to this phase. We chose blastocysts, which are the most advanced, but they have a 70% success rate of unfreezing versus the younger, less advanced multicells or pro nuclei which have a 90-95% unfreeze success rate. Multicell and pro nuclei aren't as healthy and may not be viable when they unfreeze. To make a long story short, we are confident with the ones we chose. The embryologist will now look at each blastocyst after they unfreeze and decide which ones are the best to implant. We are scheduled to have the transfer the week of March 21. This part of the process has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. We would go through them all, pick the best ones and the clinic would call to say they had been adopted. Lots of people are in the same boat with Dan and me and they go fast. It took many rounds to find the right ones. And I think the ones we picked are great. Keep the prayers coming.

I haven't updated in a while because for a long time, we were in a holding pattern waiting for so many people to finalize paperwork on our behalf. Last Friday, I heard back from the patient coordinator and nurse at the same time that we have finally been medically cleared and our home study was approved!! YAY! I cannot believe we started this whole process in FEBRUARY and it's now mid December and we're finally getting the ball rolling. SOOOOO, I received 3 zip drives of files from the clinic. They each contain donor family profiles organized by embryo "grade". The earliest embryo that is frozen is know as 2PN (pro-nucleus), and if you don't remember these terms from high school embrology, this means it's the state of the cells after the sperm and egg have just joined. The next is called the multicell. When you do IVF, the embryologist looks at how your embryos are dividing on day 3 after fertilization. If they have divided in to 3-8 cells, they are charaterized as multicell and the doctor will transfer them to your uterus on Day 3. Day 3 embryo transfers are riskier, because the embryos aren't growing as fast or well as they could, but many, many IVF cycles have been successful with 3 day transfers. The last stage is called the blastocyst. These are transferred on Day 5 and are just before the embryo hatches. We have this huge pile of files to weed through now and narrow it down from about 225 to 10! Please pray that we have the patience and wisdom to navigate this portion of the process. It's very hard on us, mentally, physically and spiritually. But once we choose our 10 profiles, the doctors decide based on the overall health of the embryos and will transfer the best ones that give us the greatest chance for success. Stay tuned!

Home Study complete!

A quick post today - I got our home study evaluation today and it's on its way to the clinic! Hopefully now we can move forward and start getting embryo donor profiles! Stay tuned.....in the meantime, here's a snippet from the report;

Daniel and Carrie appear to be a very loving, happy couple. They are aware of the challenges of parenthood and undoubtedly have the patience, love and commitment which would encourage a child to thrive. Daniel and Carrie have put a great deal of thought, deliberation, and effort into making an informed decision on embryo adoption. They have the financial stability and resources to amply accommodate the future costs of raising a child. In addition, they have a strong network of family and friends, who offer enthusiastic and unconditional support to them as parents. I highly recommend the applicants, Daniel Zampich and Carrie Zampich for embryo adoption. As an Adoption Caseworker working with Adoption Resources & Counseling, Inc., a Georgia licensed child-placing agency, I am authorized by the State of Georgia to research and prepare home studies. A copy of the agency's license is attached to this home study.