Boo.  The loan company wanted to make us pay a $1200 SERVICE CHARGE to move forward with the loan.  Funny, you have to pay to get a loan????  Unbelievable.  Back to the drawing board.  UGH

New Hope

Gosh, it's been a frustrating couple months. I have never felt so helpless. Dan has had two follow up visits since his surgery and they still have seen no change.  His type of surgery is a slow healing one.  The doctor has him on a steroid now to reduce inflammation in hopes of healing faster.  But there's still no telling when and if we can conceive naturally.  What can we do now???
But there's still hope.....a medical financing company I applied to several months ago contacted me.  They agree to give us a 10k loan!  We haven't qualified before because my debt was still so high since we paid for our wedding ourselves.Until now, I wasn't able to even get a credit card with a decent APR.  I called RBA to get the quote on my treatment and it's going to be around 15k.  So if we can come up with 5k in 60 days, we can do IVF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Here in the good ole USA. 
Keep the prayers coming that we can make this happen.  I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time!

Yikes!

I haven't posted in a while mainly because NOTHING exciting has been happening in the last several weeks. In fact, I'm going CRAZY because I have no control over anything anymore. At least for now. Dan had his first follow up appointment with Dr. Witt, who did his surgery. Unfortunately, his counts have not changed. He still does not produce live sperm. There are so many things that fluster us about this, mainly that we don't know when he will start producing because the doctor said it could be tomorrow, could be 15 months from now. UGH. So we sit and wait. And wait. And try and wait. Pure torture. And it seems everyone around me and in Hollywood for that matter..are getting pregnant. I can't help but wonder, when will it be us??? I'll be 39 in a little over a month and it's killing me. I want no acknowledgment of the day. I want to pretend it doesn't exist. I'm not giving up. And most days, I have a positive attitude. But for now, posts will be few and far between until we finally get some positive news to write about. xoxo

Follow Up

I just finished reading the blog of the woman that founded My IVF Alternative, the place that arranged our trip and treatment to the Czech Republic. She struggled to conceive for 5 years and finally had a daughter through a surrogate. Then, while pondering the use of a surrogate for their second child, she found out the cause of her several miscarriages was due to a fibroid in her uterus. It was my doctor here in Atlanta that discovered it. So, several months later, she's expecting a baby girl in a few months. People often ask if I get upset when I hear of other people's pregnancies. For instance, one of my dear college BFFs just announced she's expecting identical twins after years and years of infertility. My answer is always the same. I'm THRILLED for these people. All pregnancies are miracles. I would never let jealousy in or begrudge someone of their happiness. It sucks that everyone has kids and it's a club that Dan and I are desperately trying to join, but I still hold the belief that our day will come. And all those people that are having babies will thrilled and cheering us on as well.
Dan's recovery is still going well. He has some pain now and then but nothing he can't handle. He goes at the end of March for a sperm analysis and to see if he has any swimmers yet. Praying!!! So we are living life as if nothing is standing in our way. I'm monitoring my ovulation cycles, taking prenatal vitamins, blah blah blah. I will post again once there is some news. In the meantime, thanks for your support.

Surgery Success

Dan is home sitting on the backyard deck smoking a cigar. And yes, he had surgery yesterday. Ugh. Men.
The doctor said the surgery went smoothly and no complications. It took about 2 hours and he seems to be doing well with very little agony! Now the fun part....we wait. The doctor said he had "live sperm" in his epidydimis so that's a positive sign that he will eventually be fully "restored". He says realistically we could conceive anywhere from 12-14 weeks! So keep the prayers going and thank you soo much for the support!!

Surgery Scheduled

Ok. So far, so good. It's Tuesday and the clinic has not called us to cancel or tell us that we owe them thousands more dollars. Dan is having surgery on Friday, January 27. Please keep him in your prayers that he is able to make it through effortlessly. And pray that the doctor is able to "fix" the problem. We really don't have a plan outside of this surgery so we really hope it works and we can conceive naturally. Of course, they say it can take up to a year for him to be "restored" but we can always hope for sooner. Thanks again for your love and support. I will post more after the surgery :)

Happy Holidays!

Alot of people have told me they have been checking my blog and are wondering how we are doing. It means alot that people still care :)) So here we are, in December and still no good news. Backing up a little......did my second IUI in September and it was unsuccessful. So we decided to inquire about Dan having surgery to correct what is causing his infertility. When we first called the clinic, we were told the surgery would cost $850 out of pocket and we were THRILLED. We scheduled it for the end of October. Then, the week of the surgery, the clinic called to say they made an error and the surgery would cost $6,000! CANCELLED!
I called the clinic to let them have it. They can't play with people's emotions like that. During that call, I learned my insurance would cover the procedure up to 80% after my deductible. Since Dan wasn't on my plan, we would have to wait until January to schedule it. SO, he is now on my plan, and I will be calling the clinic the first chance I get in January to get it scheduled. It's so hard to get excited about ANYTHING because in the past, we've been let down and it's not easy picking yourself back up and coming up with a new plan.
In the meantime, I did ONE MORE IUI right after Thanksgiving and am waiting to test. I'm not hopeful at all. I know that sounds bad, but I just have a feeling......
Here's to hoping 2012 will be or year!! Much love to all and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!