"The After Math"

What Now?

I haven't fallen off the Earth. Although, this has shaken me to the core....much more than I thought it would. I have so much praise for the women and men that go through this more than once and continually fail. They are bad ass warriors. That's all I have to say about that. I definitely haven't gone 12 hours without crying but I am back at work and seem to be functioning as a normal human being!! Dan and I are still having a hard time and trying to figure out what happens next. We have an appointment at the fertility clinic on May 12 to basically throw ourselves at their feet and beg them to let us be part of a study or try to get them to discount the procedure. I'm bringing my secret weapons too (my sisters). There always seems to be a question I forget to ask!! The reason I'm writing now is due to the fact that we more or less found out why our IVF failed. To back up a little, I've been having intense pain for the last 3 days and wanted to see the doctor (OB/Gyn) just to make sure this was normal as my body is re adjusting and these hormones are just leaving my body. He did an ultrasound and showed me an enlarged sac near my ovaries which explains the pain. He says that it is "deflating" and my pain should go away in about 12 hours. He says I'm ovulating and that's a good thing. Then, I mentioned to him about my ultrasound in Czech done prior to my egg retrieval/transfer and that the tech thought she saw a polyp near my endometrium. The Brno clinic measured it and told us it was probably a fluke and that we could move forward. So he started looking there and confirmed I do indeed have a polyp the size of a raisin. He used some saline to show me how it's blocking a small part of my uterus. Meaning, if the embryos were put inside my uterus, and they "hit" the polyp, they would not implant...they would bounce off and slide right off and away from my uterus. The doctor cannot/will not say with 100% certainty that this caused our failure but he looked me in the eye and said that's was probably the cause. So, I am going to have surgery in 2 weeks (during my period) to have the polyp removed. Not sure of the date yet because they have to run this by my insurance carrier. He said if I had IVF at a clinic here, he would be suggesting I call the clinic to see if they would try again and heavily discount my procedure. Especially if the tech caught the polyp and they still moved forward with the transfer without monitoring it a bit more. He suggested I contact the clinic in Brno to see what they say to all this. I don't know whether to cry, laugh, be pissed....I guess all of the above. But at least now we are pretty sure why it failed. If you are a good writer, I need all the help I can get to address this with the Brno clinic.
So the roller coaster continues.....Dan and I feel like we've been in the path of a hurricane and are sooo ready for the sun to shine and for some GOOD news. Keep us in your thoughts. Love to all!