What a long, brutal summer it was. I spent most of it popping fertility drugs and laying around bloated and irritable. And now it's September? 2011 is fading away. And good riddance! It's sad how I'm wishing away time....precious time that I know I will regret being so sad, mad and indifferent. Dan and I have come to the realization that our lives are being held captive by this "quest". We don't go out because we need to save money. We don't shop because we have to save money. We have a hard time finding our place in the world because practically everyone we know and hang out with have kids, and their lives revolve around their kids, their activities, vacations, etc. And we want this so badly for ourselves.
Ugh, I sound so depressed. Serious doom and gloom. The reason? Our second IUI was unsuccessful. I did everything right this time. I had acupuncture four times, I ate organic and healthy foods, got plenty of rest, took time off work to avoid stress and overall tried hard to be "zen". And it didn't work. I don't understand why. Dan and I joke about how we should have been fertility doctors because you can charge people thousands and thousands of dollars and you don't have to be right and/or fulfill your job.
I'm depressed because I don't know what we are going to do. We are so depleted, emotionally and mostly financially. We have used all our resources to have money for this. And it's all flushed down the toilet. It SUCKS. But we will persevere. Just have to brainstorm ways to make money...and fast! Vegas anyone?
Z Baby Quest: A couple's journey through infertility into adoption
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