Just a quick update about the adoption.  We have spoken to the lawyers in the state where the birth mom lives and got a ton of information. We also got an expensive estimate for all their work.  Being in infertility hell for the last 8 years has depleted our savings, our credit and we've accepted so many wonderful donations that we could never ask that of anyone again.  We are trying to figure it all out. We are trying to negotiate a lower fee.  We will do everything in our power.  Stay tuned!

I'm working from home today because I'm so worked up that I'm making myself sick. Here's the latest; a while ago, one of my dear friends told me about a woman who was considering placing her unborn baby boy up for adoption. I spoke to the woman and we hit it off and talked for a long time about the importance of raising a baby in a loving home surrounded by family and friends....she has a great family of her own too. She was undecided at the time so Dan and I decided to remain cautious, but hopeful. In June, I learned that she had decided to keep the baby and as hard as it was to hear that, I made peace with it. Dan and I talked and decided to move forward with another embryo adoption. We wanted to wait until the September cycle so we could save money (which we didn't, really) and with the support of my parents and siblings, we selected new families to adopt embryos from. We are currently scheduled for a 9/20 transfer date. SEND US LUCK. Then, last week I learned the pregnant woman (due 10/15) has decided to place her baby up for adoption and would like Dan and I to be the baby's parents. This floored me. I almost passed out. Since Friday, we've been researching, talking to lawyers in her state and talking lawyers in Georgia. Even though this isn't the full blown adoption process, it's still very expensive! Since the baby is due mid October, we have little time to find that money. Which brings me to today, sitting in my bed with anxiety and stomach issues. I'm asking for prayers and support once again that we will find a way to make BOTH blessings happen and that this will all work out somehow. I'm worried we will end up with nothing and that's terrifying. I have a lot of love and support from everyone so I'm thankful to get this all out. Thanks for reading - sometimes I think I shouldn't write....but in this case, if anyone has any advice, ideas or experience with adoption, please let me know! Love always.

Thanks to all that have checked in on us to offer love and support.  It means so much. If I don't respond, it's not because I don't love you back- it's just hard to talk without getting too upset.  So in the meantime, just know we are going to be ok and I have my precious pets taking care of me with lots of good snuggling.

Totally heartbroken again.  I can't begin to understand why we just can't get a miracle.  We have love and support and therefore we will survive this.  Not much else to say right now. Xoxo

Transfer day!  Everything went well.  We transferred three embryos today and now we wait two weeks for our beta.  Two of the embryos looked very good to the doctor and one was just "so-so".  The staff at the NEDC were wonderful and personable and took good care of me.  This whole process is so humbling and you feel so so many emotions at once.  So now I'm just napping- or trying to while Dan lays next to me snoring his head off.  Like he's done any work today?!  Haha.  Thank you all so much for the amazing confidence and love you give us.  I'll write more when I'm a little less out of it.  Xoxo

We are set to go with our protocol! It involves a lot of shots, pill popping and eating healthy and staying zen. I never question putting myself through this craziness....it's a part of the process now and I'm used to it. The embryo transfer date is MARCH 24. I will need lots of prayers, incantations, whatever you can do! Dan and my anniversary is March 28 so I somehow this the timing is poetic. It will be our 7th year of marriage and I can't help reflect on the people we were back then. We had no clue what we were doing and had no one to help us decide what to do. I swear, I should open a concierge service for couples starting out in this journey. There's so much to know and so many directions to go. We thought we were doing what was best for us at the time, but I now realize that creating relationships with doctors that truly care for you is so important. You get so much advice and opinions from everywhere and it can leave you so confused and all the while, you are digging a deeper pile of debt for yourself. It's worthless to look back and have regrets. I've resolved myself to being philosophical about it all....we are doing what we should be doing and we will have the child we are meant for. Pray that everything goes the way it should and that my body cooperates. And most of all, pray I don't run Dan out of the country with my mood swings!! xoxo

Embryos Chosen!

After a month of sifting through over 200 profiles, we finally chose 3 families, each with 2 embryos to adopt. The doctor wants us to have 6 total. There's a lot that factors in to this phase. We chose blastocysts, which are the most advanced, but they have a 70% success rate of unfreezing versus the younger, less advanced multicells or pro nuclei which have a 90-95% unfreeze success rate. Multicell and pro nuclei aren't as healthy and may not be viable when they unfreeze. To make a long story short, we are confident with the ones we chose. The embryologist will now look at each blastocyst after they unfreeze and decide which ones are the best to implant. We are scheduled to have the transfer the week of March 21. This part of the process has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. We would go through them all, pick the best ones and the clinic would call to say they had been adopted. Lots of people are in the same boat with Dan and me and they go fast. It took many rounds to find the right ones. And I think the ones we picked are great. Keep the prayers coming.